Bruins Rules; Never Date Within the Division
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a confession to make.
As much of a die-hard Bruins fan as I am and as much as I live and breathe the city of Boston and all it stands for, I have to admit to you all that I am completely and irreversibly in love with a Montreal Canadiens devotee.
Now, I must ask that you keep an open mind about this situation and not jump to conclusions. I understand that I am going against my oath as a B’s fan by doing this, but in my defense, love is blind (and he wasn’t a Habs fan to begin with and I’m still not entirely sure what seduced him enough to join the dark side, but I digress).
I can say with 100% certainty that it isn’t as horrendous as you would expect.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my boyfriend. Very much. But when hockey season is at its peak and it’s all coming down to the wire for the playoffs, the relationship isn’t so much loving and caring as it is a war zone. The man I chose as the love of my life makes me want to beat my head against the wall constantly all for the sake of my team.
In this little ditty I am writing for all of you to see, I will break down what it’s like to be in a relationship matching the NHL’s greatest rivalry as it ebbs and flows with the changing phases of the Hockey Season.
Pre-Season
Pre-season is a time of excitement and bliss.
After what seems like years of agony without the greatest sport on earth, our pain and troubles are finally laid to rest because hockey is back.
And with that comes up and coming prospects trying to land one of the very few roster spots for their teams opening night. Chatter fills the hockey-verse of what team is going to be the best… and the worst. Fans finally get to see that talent coming out of trades and new contracts, what the fresh meat has to offer, and what their true-blue veterans have to offer up this time.
Now. When it comes to my better half and I, we will see one good game and automatically start spouting, “We’re going to win the cup. Bettah luck near year”.
When our teams kick ass in the first game of the very short pre-season, guns are loaded but not a single shot is fired just yet. I honestly can’t help but laugh half the time because Canadiens (roflcopter).
And like all good hockey fans, we tend to live in the past. Remember the Alamo? More like me going: Remember 2011? And he saying: “Remember the 90s?”
This is the point in the relationship where the tension, but all in good fun.
Especially when this starts: “CAREEEEYYYY <333333”
While I’m over here like: “TUUUKKKAAAA <333333”
Regular Season
“DID YOU SEE THAT GAME LAST NIGHT?”
“LMAO HOW COULD RASK HAVE MISSED THAT?”
“CHARA IS SUCH A WASTE OF SPACE.”
“FUCK THAT MARCHAND GUY. WHO IS HE, ANYWAY?”
“CAREEEEYYYY <333333”
I swear to all the hockey gods blessing me with unfaltering patience if this continues this bad for the rest of our lives being spent together in loving bliss, I’m gonna need me some Jesus and an unlimited supply of red wine.
The strain on my sanity is real.
No matter how “aggravated” I get, I’ll always cuddle up real close to watch the game and then when he laughs because my King, Tuukka, let’s one by I’ll huddle up on the other side of the couch with a wall of pillows around me.
Then ten minutes later I’ll be laying in his lap again.
I’m weak and natural selection is coming for me.
Stanley Cup Playoffs
This past post-season was especially difficult with the Bruins not making it and all.
So, naturally, my beloved Nicholas was having a field day. The most common sentence uttered from his precious mouth? “The Bruins suck.” Plain and simple. #whateven
The moment Tampa beat Montreal to a pulp in round 2 is the moment I knew that God was real.
Nevertheless, as much of a pain in the ass he is when his team is on the trail to victory and mine is not, there’s nothing quite like sitting down in our respective cheering attire and taking in some Stanley Cup hockey together; homemade pizza and ice cream included.
It can solves any hockey induced relationship strains – tested and proven.
Oh. And our harmonious, mutual rejoicing of: “HAAAAANNKKKK <33333”
(We have matching Lundqvist shirts. It’s really romantic.)
Post-Season
The Cup has been won (not by our teams) and with it returns the humble, love-filled relationship that we have created together.
So, in all actuality, dating within the division really isn’t all that bad.
10/10 would recommend to a friend.
The jokes and jabs still linger ever once in a while but what really sticks with us is our mutual love of the sport (and each other). Yes, we tease and yes we make the other want to jump off a cliff because of the competitiveness every now and again, but at the end of the day we are a hockey couple through and through.
If you have that, no old-time rivalry can tear you apart.